One of life’s great lessons….

Always Clean your room:

 

Here is a story one of my students wrote:

There was a lazy bear in a forest.  His room was very dirty and there were very many flies.  The bear’s name was Boom.  Boom didnt like others to clean his room.  When his mother cleans his room, he gets angry and goes out from his house.  One day, the capital of the forest visited his house and saw boom’s room.  The capital didn’t like dirty things.  So he cleaned his room.  He was too tired to clean his house.  When Boom came back he saw his room and got angry.  He was very angry and said bad words to the capital.  They fought in the forest school.  It was at night so they were noisy.  The capital was very angry so he said boom cant live in the forest.  Boom went to a city and damaged people.  people brought him to a zoo.  He had to live in a clear place.  He was sick and wanted to live in the forest.  He decides to escape from the zoo and he escaped.  He said “sorry” to the capital and the capital said “ok.” but you must clean your room! so he could live happily.

Story Time!

When explaining Fairytales and asking my students to write them, here is an example of what I got:

First:

Once upon a time there was a magic chicken in a town.  The chicken’s name was bill.  He is very smart and fast.  When he danger he changes his shape.  He never is found out by people, but he is found out by a girl.  The girl’s name is Jully.  She is poor but she has a warm mind.  When he saw her he thought “this girl can heal Magic World.”  Magic world is a planet in space but people dont believe that.  Bill say “can you help our planet? our planet is getting worse and worse.” July thinks a moment and says “Yes!!” Bill teaches her everyday.  A few years later, she is magiciain.  And then they go to find people who have warm minds.  A few monthes later, they found 1 boy and 1 girl.  Their names is Tom and Licy.  They study for 4 years and now they’re the strongest team.  Bill is the best water magician.  Jully is the best fire magician.  Tom is the best Earth magician.  Licy is the best wind magician.  They go to magic world’s children and they live in magic world forever…now they are the best teachers in the world.

And then:

There is one lion.  He is always alone.  So he always wants to make friends.  Then he saw one mouse.  But the lion was stupid.  He said “who are you?” and the mouse said “i’m a mouse. I’m king. You must bring to me many cheese.”  and the lion says “really? then I will bring a lot of cheese. Hold please.” After much time passed, the lion gives many cheese to the mouse.  And the mouse says “I’ll become your friend.” “Oh! Thank you!” So lion made a friend and the mouse can eat many cheese. They lived happily ever after.”

And also:

100 pigs lived in a village. They liked them.  The first pig left his brother and sister.  One hundred pigs had only two sisters.  46th sister, and 83rd sister.  The second pig had an ugly girlfriend but she is kind. The sisters cook  many food for the 98 brothers.  The 5th pig is very lazy so he eats and sleeps and extcretes but the 41st pig is very diligent.  he helps their sister.  One hundre pigs are very happy, but in the pig village lives three tigers.  The 2nd, 7th, 32nd, 49th, 53rd, 78th pigs take a walk. the 49th pig is afraid because he knows in his village lives three tigers.  One tiger talks a walk. Then the tiger found six pigs.  One tiger thinks, “ok.” One tiger goes near the six pigs.  The 53rd pig found the tiger.  Six pigs run very fast.  One tiger runs fast too.  The 7th pig is very fat so the 7th pig is slow.  one tiger eats the 7th pig.  Five pigs are very sad but run fast.  Five pigs say “everyone listen carefully, in our village lives many tigers. we should fight them!”  They ready for many tigers.  The three tigers appeared in the pig’s house.  The 2nd pig has a bomb.  99 pigs have many weapons.  One tiger yelled.  11 pigs shoot many arrows.  One tiger is die.  Two tigers are afraid of the 100 pigs.  One tiger is brave.  He yelled, too.  4 pigs have swords.  They fight with a tiger.  Three pigs die.  One pig is alive.  One tiger is die.  One tiger escapes from the pigs house.  The 2nd pig throws at one tiger.  One tiger is die.  One hundred pigs win but they are very sad because their brother died.  They live very happily.

Lovely Birthday Cards

Last friday was my Birthday, which was by far one of my best birthdays so far…

Birthday count:

Bags of candy recieved: 15

Huge basket of flowers: 1

Clay Cupcakes: 6

Mechanical Pencils, pens or highlighters: 7

Notebooks: 3

Birthday Cakes: 5

Birthday Letters: 57

So here is a small tidbit of the letters I received from my students

“Happy Birthday Jessica Teacher.  My name is Sally.  This is for you. Do you like cake? I like cake and I love you.”

“Hi Jessica? This is Victor. Today is your first birthday in Korea.

I want you don’t go to American because I became intimate with you (sidebar: he used a dictionary and I’m sure isn’t aware of the implications of that word) and economically travel back and forthing is so expensive if you are not a rich person.

When you go to America, give me your cell phone number.  And thank you for teaching me English.  You teached me many things but I teached some Korean.  I hope you are never sick.  Thank you Jessica. From Lovely Victor”

“To Jessica. Hi Jessica. My name is Hans. Jessica we are teach very well.  happy Birthday. Happy New day.  I love’d Jessica teacher but I can’t. Happy Birthday to Jessica. Happy Birthday to Jessica.  Happy Birthday to Jessica. I love to Jessica Teacher.  Goodbye. see you next time. From Hans”

Second sidenote:  I have taught all of these students for 6 monthes now, I know their names.  But they introduce themselves in EVERY letter that they write.

Say what?: Birthday Lunch

Today, my Korean friend, Danie, took me out to lunch for my Birthday.  We went to a restaurant near the mountain next to my house, which was very delicious…until a drunken man (mind you: it was noon) decided to test his English out on me saying “how you doin?” for the rest of our lunch… I have no idea where he learned this, too many English movies I guess.

Anyhow, afterwards we had a cup of coffee.  Danie likes an american boy, of Indian origin.  She often talks about how much she likes him, but she can’t stand his “smell,” which is actually there, because I’ve met him before.  She told me that in Korea, if someone smells, their friends tell them, and then they go to the hospital to get a surgery. ANYWAY– she suggested that I tell this boy that I’ve met one time to get surgery to reduce his smell. uhhh…no thank you?

Anyhow.  While discussing this, Danie noticed that my legs were hairless. The following conversation occured:

D:”YOU–(insert motion of shaving)–LEGS??”

Me: Yes?

D: Me.no.

Me:what?why?

D: Because long hair is sexy. My hair (points to head) long. My hair (points to arms) is long. My hair (points to legs) LONG!!

Me: I think maybe no.

D: Hair on legs is VERY SEXY.

Me: Okay MoNique…so how is work going?

.....sexy?really?

The new Haus Pub Decorations

Avout=about

"When she finally stopped conforming avout what is distant he will find sorrow hear at hand adorable"

'ove like you've NAVER been hurt

Conversation of today: Professional Edition

The heat here in South Korea has been pretty unbearable as of late.  This has caused me to teach my co-teachers the expressions “I’m dying a small death” and “I’m melting.” Our conversations generally go like this, “Jessica Teacher, you look tired today.”  Me: “No, I’m melting, that’s all.”

Anyway, weird conversation with my boss a few days ago.

STAGE LEFT: Eric Teacher knocks on my door.

ET: Are you busy?

JT: No… I’m just grading papers. (mutes episode of True Blood and closes laptop)

ET: You look very hot these days.

JT’s inner monologue: Is my boss hitting on me? How do you file a sexual harrassment suit in Korea? Have I been showing too much cleavage lately?

JT: ((lightbulb!!)) Oh, yes…it’s very hot.

ET: ((Shakes head and walks away))

In recounting this story, I can’t decide which is weirder the “You look hot lately” meaning temperature, which is the stupidest comment ever, but I think it’s inappropriate to say DUH! to your boss, or him saying I look pretty lately. Either way…language barrier much?

What do people do in a relationship?

Okay, this doesn’t really have anything to do with poor translation, just “traditional Koreans.”

Justin views himself as a traditional Korean, meaning…. slow moving. So, after at least 6 monthes of flirting, and courting… finally some moves have been made between him and my friend, all because of another friend doing the talking.

The conversation went like this:

M: “Justin, do you like her as a friend, or as a girlfriend.”

J: “No, I want her to be my girlfriend.”

M: “So, Justin, what do boyfriend and girlfriend do?”

J: ” ummmm…..hold hands??”

M: “She’s a western girl you are going to have to go a little bit faster than that.”

J: :::look of confusion::::

M: “Like kissing???”

J: “YOU MEAN I CAN KISS HER??”

M: “Yes, Justin, you can kiss her.”

J: ::huge smile::: okay.